Archive for the 'Fun & Forwards' Category

Apple files countersuit against Creative

Published on 5 years, 8 months ago in Fun & Forwards. 0 Comments Tags: .

Setting: A Warm August Day in 2005 –The US Patent office has just awarded “Creative” rights to a menu patent that Apple uses in their successful iPod.

Creative: We’ve got them by the balls now. Let’s call them up and make ‘em grovel.
((ring ring))
Apple: Hello
Creative: I’m sure you heard the news. No use in beating around the bush, we’re calling to discuss the royalty rate you will pay us.
Apple: We submitted a patent for the very same thing you just happen to win out–timing luck. Besides, your stinky little patent has nothing to do with the success of our Ipod.
Creative: We own that patent you re using and we need to get paid. Our stock holders need a return on their investment!
Apple: No.
Creative: We insist that you discuss it.
Apple: Never.
Creative: We legally own the rights to that patent!
Apple: So, why are you starting with us, why aren’t you suing Iriver, Sony or Samsung. Aren’t they using the same patent.
Creative: Oh please, don’t get me started. They made less money then us on MP3 player sales.
Apple: So you’re suing us because we’ve been highly successful with our Ipod. Is that it?
Creative: We will sue them too, eventually–but getting back to the point! We need to determine a fair royalty rate.
Apple: Absolutely not.
Creative: Why?
Apple: Because there is nothing creative about Creative. You’ve practically copied the look and feel of our Ipod design from the get-go. And now, you expect us to pay you because you had no success at copying our Ipod. We think—NOT!
Creative: That menu patent was our original idea. It is our intellectual property and we insist that you pay us for using it.
Apple: Yeah, right. (sarcastically)
Creative: Then we’ll see you in Court. We’re going to sue you to the core—no, to the seeds in your core!
Apple: Stop wasting our time. We’ve got a bevy of Ipod orders to fill. 500,000 customers called saying they returned something called a ZEN and now they want an Ipod…something about it doesn’t work with iTunes. Goodbye. (click)
Creative: Oooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
((ring ring))
Creative’s Legal Dept.: Hello
Creative: Let’s sue that Dirty Rotten Apple for everything they’ve got!
Creative’s Legal Dept.: We’ll get right on it boss.
***9 months later-Creative files a lawsuit against Apple.***
Creative: We want Apple to cease and desist all Ipod sales in the US. We want a big settlement like that US company got against the Canadian Blackberry. I think they settled for a little less than a billion. That would be fine by us.
***Later that same day…***
((ring, ring))
Creative: Hello
Creative’s Legal Dept.: Hey boss, Apple is counter suing us. They say we are infringing on FOUR of their patents. The word is out and our $5.00 stock is dropping fast! What shall we do?
Creative: When we were amicably discussing the terms of our patent rights with Apple; they never mention they had Four patents we are “allegedly” using. I wonder why?
***The story continues…***

Source

Oh Well !! This is crap but fun :)

Published on 5 years, 10 months ago in Fun & Forwards. 1 Comment Tags: , .
Smart Ass
You scored 32 bitchy, 52 cocky, 9 abusive, and 56 pompous!

You like to point out the obvious, with a little sarcastic twist thrown in. People don’t like to be around you, because you always throw in your two cents.You are the most smack-worthy of the bunch.

My test tracked 4 variables..
How are you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 83% on bitchy
You scored higher than 69% on cocky
You scored higher than 3% on abusive
You scored higher than 78% on pompous

Take this test here

Cool Hindi Translations

Published on 6 years ago in Fun & Forwards. 0 Comments

Are you nuts?
* Kya aap akhrot hain?

Have a nice day!
* Acha din lo!

What’s up?
*Uppar kya hai?

You’re kidding!
*Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!

Don’t kid me!
* Mera bachcha mut banaao!

Yo, baby! What’s up?
* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?

Cool man!
* Thandaa aadmi!

Don’t mess with me, dude.
* Mere saath gandagee mat karo, Ek Hustee !!

Check this out, man!
* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!

She’s so fine!
* Woh itnee bedaag hai!

Listen buddy, that chick’s mine, okay!?
* Suno dost, woh choozaa mera hai, theek?

Son of a gun.
* Bachcha bandook ka…

Phone Conversation

Published on 6 years ago in Fun & Forwards. 0 Comments

K-”Who’s calling?”
W-”Watt.”
K-”What is your name, please?”
W-”Watt’s my name.”
K-”That’s what I asked you. What’s your name?”
W-”That’s what I told you. Watt’s my name.”

A long pause, and then from Watt,

W-”Is this James Brown?”
K-”No, this is Knott.”
W-”Please tell me your name.”
K-”Will Knott.”

W-Why not?
K-Huh? What do you mean why not?
W-Yeah! Why won’t you tell me your name?
K-But I told you my name!
W-Didn’t you say you will not?
K-Not not, knott, Will Knott!
W-That’s what I mean.
K-So you know my name.
W-Of course not!
K-Good. So now, what is yours?
W-Watt. Yours?
K-Your name!
W-Watt’s my name.
K-How the hell do I know? I am asking you!
W-Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you
have not even told me yours yet.
K-You have been patient, what about me? I have told you my name so
many times and it is you who have not told me yours yet.
W-Of course not!
K-See, you even know my name!
W-Of course not!
K-Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?
W-Because I don’t.

[Pause]

K-What is your name?
W-See, you know my name!
K-Of course not!
W-Then why do you keep asking Watt is your name?
K-To find out your name!
W-But you already know it!
K-What?
W-See, and you know mine!
K-Of course not!
W-Exactly!

K-Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name
is, what will be your answer?
W-Watt’s my name.
K-No, no, give me only one word.
W-Watt
K-Your name!
W-Right!

[pause before it hits him]

K-Oh, Wright!
W-Yeah!
K-So why didn’t you say it before?
W-I told you so many times!
K-You never said Wright before
W-Of course I did.
K-Ok I won’t argue any more. Do you know my name?
W-I do not.
K-Well, there you go, now we know each other’s name.
W-I do not!
K-Gud!

[pause before it hits him]

W-Oh, Gud!
K-Gud.
W-No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?
K-No, it’s Knott!
W-Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Gud.
K-Yes Wright.

Are you a Pro*titute or a Programmer?

Published on 6 years ago in Fun & Forwards. 0 Comments

Are you a Pro*titute or a Programmer?

1. You work very odd hours.

2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.

3. You are paid well, but your pimp gets most of the money.

4. You spend a majority of your time in an air-conditioned room.

5. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended for the right price.

6. You are not proud of what you do.

7. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.

8. It’s difficult to have a family.

9. You have no job satisfaction.

11. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.

12. People ask you, “What do you do?” and you can’t explain it.

13. Your family hardly recognizes you at reunions (at least the reunions you attend.)

14. Your friends have distanced themselves from you and you’re left hanging with other “professionals.”

15. Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.

16. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.

20. When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday AM to Friday PM)

21. You are rated on your “performance” in an excruciating ordeal.

22. Even though you get paid the big bucks, it’s the client who walks away smiling.

23. The client always thinks your “cut” of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.

24. When you deduct your “take” from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.

25. Everyday you wake up and tell yourself, “I’m not going to be doing this stuff the rest of my life.”

Nostalgia

Published on 6 years ago in Fun & Forwards. 0 Comments

This is good reading to get nostalgic……..especially for those who are in their thirties & forties now……..

When gulli-danda and kanche (marbles) were more popular than cricket…
When we always had friends to play aais-paais (I Spy),chhepan-chhepai and pitthoo anytime…
When we desperately waited for ‘yeh jo hai jindagi’
When chitrahaar, vikram-baitaal, dada daadi ki kahaniyaan were so fulfilling…
When there was just one TV in every five houses and
When bisleris were not sold in the trains and we were
worrying if papas will get back into the train in time or not when they were getting down at stations to fill up the water bottle…
When we were going to bed by 9.00pm sharp except for the ‘yeh jo hai jindagi’ day…
When Holis &! Diwalis meant mostly hand-made pakwaans
and sweets and moms seeking our help while preparing them…
When Maths teachers were not worried of our mummys and papas while slapping/beating us…
When we were exchanging comics and stamps and chacha-chaudaris and billus were our heroes…
When we were in nanihaals every summer and loved flying kites and plucking and eating unripe mangoes and leechis…
When one movie every Sunday evening on television was more than asked for and ‘ek do teen chaar’ and ‘Rajni’inspired us …
When 50 paisa meant at least 10 toffees…
When left over pages of the last year’s notebooks were used for rough work or even fair work…
When ‘chelpark’ and ‘natraaj’ were encouraged against’Reynolds and family’…
When the first rain meant getting drenched and playing in water and mud and making ‘kaagaj ki kishtis’…
When there were no phones to tell friends that we will be at their homes at six in the evening…
When our parents always had 15 paise blue colored ‘antardesis’ and 5 paise machli wale stamps at home…
When we were not seeing patakhes on Diwalis and gulaals on Holis as air and noise polluting or allergic agents…
The list can be endless…on the serious note I would like to summarise with …
When we were using our hearts more than our brains,!even for scientifically brainy activities like ‘thinking’ and ‘deciding’…
When we were crying and laughing more often, more openly and more sincerely…
When we were enjoying our present more than worrying about our future…
When being emotional was not synonymous to being weak…
When sharing worries and happinesses didnt mean getting vulnerable to the listener…
When blacks and whites were the favourite colors instead of greys…
When journeys also were important and not just the destinations…
When life was a passenger’s sleeper giving enough time and opportunity to enjoy the sceneries from its open and transparent glass windows instead of some superfast’s second ac with its curtained,closed and dark windows…

I really miss .. do u?