Vinod Mishra…

Setting: A Warm August Day in 2005 –The US Patent office has just awarded “Creative” rights to a menu patent that Apple uses in their successful iPod.

Creative: We’ve got them by the balls now. Let’s call them up and make ‘em grovel.
((ring ring))
Apple: Hello
Creative: I’m sure you heard the news. No use in beating around the bush, we’re calling to discuss the royalty rate you will pay us.
Apple: We submitted a patent for the very same thing you just happen to win out–timing luck. Besides, your stinky little patent has nothing to do with the success of our Ipod.
Creative: We own that patent you re using and we need to get paid. Our stock holders need a return on their investment!
Apple: No.
Creative: We insist that you discuss it.
Apple: Never.
Creative: We legally own the rights to that patent!
Apple: So, why are you starting with us, why aren’t you suing Iriver, Sony or Samsung. Aren’t they using the same patent.
Creative: Oh please, don’t get me started. They made less money then us on MP3 player sales.
Apple: So you’re suing us because we’ve been highly successful with our Ipod. Is that it?
Creative: We will sue them too, eventually–but getting back to the point! We need to determine a fair royalty rate.
Apple: Absolutely not.
Creative: Why?
Apple: Because there is nothing creative about Creative. You’ve practically copied the look and feel of our Ipod design from the get-go. And now, you expect us to pay you because you had no success at copying our Ipod. We think—NOT!
Creative: That menu patent was our original idea. It is our intellectual property and we insist that you pay us for using it.
Apple: Yeah, right. (sarcastically)
Creative: Then we’ll see you in Court. We’re going to sue you to the core—no, to the seeds in your core!
Apple: Stop wasting our time. We’ve got a bevy of Ipod orders to fill. 500,000 customers called saying they returned something called a ZEN and now they want an Ipod…something about it doesn’t work with iTunes. Goodbye. (click)
Creative: Oooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
((ring ring))
Creative’s Legal Dept.: Hello
Creative: Let’s sue that Dirty Rotten Apple for everything they’ve got!
Creative’s Legal Dept.: We’ll get right on it boss.
***9 months later-Creative files a lawsuit against Apple.***
Creative: We want Apple to cease and desist all Ipod sales in the US. We want a big settlement like that US company got against the Canadian Blackberry. I think they settled for a little less than a billion. That would be fine by us.
***Later that same day…***
((ring, ring))
Creative: Hello
Creative’s Legal Dept.: Hey boss, Apple is counter suing us. They say we are infringing on FOUR of their patents. The word is out and our $5.00 stock is dropping fast! What shall we do?
Creative: When we were amicably discussing the terms of our patent rights with Apple; they never mention they had Four patents we are “allegedly” using. I wonder why?
***The story continues…***

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