Bihari Essay “Indian Cow”

”You’ll forget your English by the time you finish reading this.
This is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC
(IAS)Examinations.

The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:”

Indian Cow: -

HE IS THE COW. “The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4
footed, And because he is female, he give milks,[but will do so when he is gotchild.]
He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has
got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.
His whole body can be utilized for use. More so the milk. Milk
comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [horses don't have any such
attachment] What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why
and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, waterman’s and mankind generally.
His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species., Also his
other motion.. gober is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making
flat cakes [like Pizza ] , in hand , and drying in the sun. Cow is the
only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she
chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is
incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending
organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child.
This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to
be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great
velocity forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard,
but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the
other side.
This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his
cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it. The palms of his feet are soft
unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have
poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts . His eyes and nose are like his other relatives.
This is the cow…….

“We are informed that the candidate passed the exam. and is now an
IAS, is Bihar in somewhere,..[sorry somewhere in Bihar! )]”